To gain influence, persuade, don't coerce

"Oral delivery aims at persuasion and making the listener believe they are converted. Few persons are capable of being convinced; the majority allow themselves to be persuaded." ~ Johann von Goethe

Persuasion is a critical skill every leader and manager must master. Staff -- particularly the younger generation -- can no longer be bossed into changing their behaviors or moving forward in a prescribed manner. Managers must rely on persuasion to get the job done.

Persuasion is the art of convincing people you are taking them in the correct direction. However, in order to be effective, persuasion has to be done in such a way that people do not feel as though they are being coerced.

The first thing you need to remember about persuasion is that you must connect with the person you are persuading. When a relationship is established first, people are much more likely to accept what you are trying to convince them of.

A study at Stanford University asked students to pair off and come to an agreement on a class problem. Just a little over half of the students -- 55% -- were able to do so.

In a slight variation of the same experiment, another class was assigned the same task, but this time they were asked to introduce themselves and talk a little bit about their backgrounds before jumping in. This time, 90% of the students came to an agreement. The only difference here is that the students in the second class connected on a deeper level.

The second thing to remember about persuasion is that it is not the same thing as being pushy. How many times have you gone to a meeting where one member of the group became pushy? Even if their opinion was valid, everyone just ended up ignoring them, right? Persuasive people understand that in order to get their point across they must do it with subtlety, not brute force.

Thirdly, persuasive people must also be genuine. People instinctually have a “distrust meter” that goes off when they detect anything disingenuous. Speaking for myself, if I do not trust a person, I will not hear what they are saying.

First impressions also play a major role in the art of persuasion. People make a judgment about you in the first 3 to 4 seconds of meeting you. If you want them to believe or follow you, it is imperative you make the best impression you can. It is almost impossible to persuade people if your first impression is less than ideal.

Finally, persuasive people are great at reading those around them. This is known as emotional intelligence, and it allows them to figure out what really motivates others. These people learn and understand what it will take to get buy-in from another person or group.

Persuasion is so important for each and every manager. You can manage so much more effectively when you have buy-in from the people you lead.

You can do this!

Dr. Osteryoung has directly has assisted over 3,000 firms. He is the Jim Moran Professor of Entrepreneurship (Emeritus) and Professor of Finance (Emeritus) at Florida State University. He was the founding Executive Director of The Jim Moran Institute and served in that position from 1995 through 2008. His newest book co-authored with Tim O'Brien, "If You Have Employees, You Really Need This Book," is a bestseller on Amazon.com. He can be reached by e-mail at jerry.osteryoung@gmail.com.

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